In this reflection for The Peaceful Parent, let me briefly outline some concepts that I have embraced, and how they manifest for me.
This I gleaned from the directions given on an airplane – “… put on your oxygen mask first, and then assist others.” Take care of your self so that you can take care of your child. If you do not take care of yourself, both you and your child will suffer. There will not be enough of you to go around. This means getting adequate rest, nourishment, and time to ruminate about your own life so that you are “fed,” not “fed up.”
If you need help, ask for it. I had a hard time doing this because I did not wish to burden another, nor feel another obligation. However, in reaching for help, I found others who wished to feel needed. So, many needs were fulfilled; 1) I got time to my self, 2) my child built a relationship with a wonderful friend, 3) my friend felt needed and embraced by our family, and 4) the exchange of kindnesses gave all of us a boost in morale – it felt good!
I remind myself to remain aware of the child as a person. The child will see things with a perspective that is not the same as the parent’s, and the child deserves respect toward his or her point of view. Give choices, explain consequences, and realize that by using force or by spanking you send a message that power and control are the tools to use to manage differences. Avoid perpetuating this lesson.
As a person develops, there are behaviors that are age-appropriate. It is appropriate, though taxing, for my two year old to throw a tantrum. This same behavior is not appropriate for my 17 year old. Thus, I manage the events accordingly. I have learned that by my remaining calm, an emotional storm passes more quickly as opposed to intensifying when I get upset. Managing misbehavior with peace of mind is not always easy, and gets easier with practice.
From the poetry of Maya Angelou and the wisdom of Wayne Dyer, I leave you with this for now: You do what you know how to do, and when you know better, you do better – this is nobility.
In loving kindness, Tamara, founder LiveInPeace.info & Stay-In-Touch.org & TamaraParisio.com Art & Industry
This I gleaned from the directions given on an airplane – “… put on your oxygen mask first, and then assist others.” Take care of your self so that you can take care of your child. If you do not take care of yourself, both you and your child will suffer. There will not be enough of you to go around. This means getting adequate rest, nourishment, and time to ruminate about your own life so that you are “fed,” not “fed up.”
If you need help, ask for it. I had a hard time doing this because I did not wish to burden another, nor feel another obligation. However, in reaching for help, I found others who wished to feel needed. So, many needs were fulfilled; 1) I got time to my self, 2) my child built a relationship with a wonderful friend, 3) my friend felt needed and embraced by our family, and 4) the exchange of kindnesses gave all of us a boost in morale – it felt good!
I remind myself to remain aware of the child as a person. The child will see things with a perspective that is not the same as the parent’s, and the child deserves respect toward his or her point of view. Give choices, explain consequences, and realize that by using force or by spanking you send a message that power and control are the tools to use to manage differences. Avoid perpetuating this lesson.
As a person develops, there are behaviors that are age-appropriate. It is appropriate, though taxing, for my two year old to throw a tantrum. This same behavior is not appropriate for my 17 year old. Thus, I manage the events accordingly. I have learned that by my remaining calm, an emotional storm passes more quickly as opposed to intensifying when I get upset. Managing misbehavior with peace of mind is not always easy, and gets easier with practice.
From the poetry of Maya Angelou and the wisdom of Wayne Dyer, I leave you with this for now: You do what you know how to do, and when you know better, you do better – this is nobility.
In loving kindness, Tamara, founder LiveInPeace.info & Stay-In-Touch.org & TamaraParisio.com Art & Industry
Labels: Maya Angelou, Parenting, Peaceful Parent, Tamara Parisio, Wayne Dyer
posted by Tamara at 11:59 AM
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