ahhhh, foiled again!

am "spending" an inordinate amount of time doing things that do not bring me joy ... and, I need to balance the activities better. since my passion meter is broken at the moment, I have no ambition. When I take a moment to entertain a possible goal, I get a blank stare from the inner eyes. the universe does wink at me occasionally, so I believe I am not forgotten.

not getting much appreciation, accolades, attention so am feeling like my existence is rather feckless. tried to fly with a colorful parachute that just didn't hold together ... yet.

sadly enough, the most "fun" I have is wordsmithing my thoughts on this damn computer ... the Wiz of Ozz (don't mind the chick behind the laptop). still, I yearn to create something so that when I do leave this time-space continuum, it is more than just a pin-dot hole in the world that I leave behind.

then again ... I'm struggling to focus in order to write the book - the novel - the ... and perhaps am feeling like I'd fall short in moving the hearts of others. ahhhh ... fear of failure ... hmmmmmm

a bit bitter and looking to get better. but DAMN if I can find something worth fighting for ... like, I imagine for you, your garden. You create - nurture - toil in joy and then get further rewarded by the fruits of your work ... so awesome.

yesterday, at a birthday party where he was behaving miserably, my son brought me a glass of ice water and in that single moment erased anything but his thoughtfulness. so this is where the magic lies. in those moments that create joy.

meandering through the stream of consciousness ... more to come.

what color is your parachute (can anyone have just one?) ... and perhaps another question would be what pattern?

off to fold clothes and then to investigate more on twitter for a possible social-media-marketing project ...

strum to your hearts content!