Rivalry
It is interesting to embrace the notion that conflict happens in an effort to achieve agreement. That accepted, we need to realize the possibilities: my way, your way, or some other way. This is where most of us stop because we only want “my way” while the opponent wants “your way.” Thus, we fail to begin the approach with finding possibilities: other ways that may become “the way.”
While our daughters were progressing through their teens, it was a rite at the 16th birthday to receive a car. The first was a 4-door white sedan that fit the squeaky budget at that time, and left our oldest dancing in glee while the others looked on in excitement for their own time to come. The next, a couple years later – following a strong professional growth period for both parents, was a 2-door sporty red car that resulted in a dance of glee while the oldest cried about how she was less loved (and the youngest looked on in excitement for her time to come). The third car was selected with the same care, increased resources and a great opportunity. It was a 4-door silver sporty model that left two crying while the third one danced.
This resulted in returning to the “birth order” chat. Each sibling stratum holds its blessings and curses. The first born has to forge the way while parents are overly cautious. Things get easier with the second born, and there is a playmate on site! Every additional sibling gets enveloped by the others. And, with each child, the parents become wiser in their ways. If you all compare notes, you will see that we made different mistakes with each of you! And, we were better equipped with resources in varying measures as each of you reached a need.
So we talked about the details of every “sweet 16” and asked, “what did we do right?” then, “what did we miss?” and finally, “what would you do with the same resources?”
Wow, realizing the geography when each of them earned their wheels, all agreed that they would do what we had done. And, they realized how special each of them were to us, and to one another.
The first born opens our eyes. And the baby shows us the last string of growing up stages … until grandchildren. Every child in between brings wisdom, challenge, and a new perspective to the family. Equal and fair is getting constant support, encouragement, and guidance from your loving family.
In Lovingkindness,
Tamara
It is interesting to embrace the notion that conflict happens in an effort to achieve agreement. That accepted, we need to realize the possibilities: my way, your way, or some other way. This is where most of us stop because we only want “my way” while the opponent wants “your way.” Thus, we fail to begin the approach with finding possibilities: other ways that may become “the way.”
While our daughters were progressing through their teens, it was a rite at the 16th birthday to receive a car. The first was a 4-door white sedan that fit the squeaky budget at that time, and left our oldest dancing in glee while the others looked on in excitement for their own time to come. The next, a couple years later – following a strong professional growth period for both parents, was a 2-door sporty red car that resulted in a dance of glee while the oldest cried about how she was less loved (and the youngest looked on in excitement for her time to come). The third car was selected with the same care, increased resources and a great opportunity. It was a 4-door silver sporty model that left two crying while the third one danced.
This resulted in returning to the “birth order” chat. Each sibling stratum holds its blessings and curses. The first born has to forge the way while parents are overly cautious. Things get easier with the second born, and there is a playmate on site! Every additional sibling gets enveloped by the others. And, with each child, the parents become wiser in their ways. If you all compare notes, you will see that we made different mistakes with each of you! And, we were better equipped with resources in varying measures as each of you reached a need.
So we talked about the details of every “sweet 16” and asked, “what did we do right?” then, “what did we miss?” and finally, “what would you do with the same resources?”
Wow, realizing the geography when each of them earned their wheels, all agreed that they would do what we had done. And, they realized how special each of them were to us, and to one another.
The first born opens our eyes. And the baby shows us the last string of growing up stages … until grandchildren. Every child in between brings wisdom, challenge, and a new perspective to the family. Equal and fair is getting constant support, encouragement, and guidance from your loving family.
In Lovingkindness,
Tamara
posted by Tamara at 1:11 PM
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